Heart for Uganda

I have always enjoyed writing. I enjoy journaling, but I have not always been faithful about keeping one consistently. These past few years I have been my most faithful. Whenever I have something plaguing my mind, it is cathartic to put it on paper. After rereading those same thoughts a few days later, I often gain some better clarity.

When Antwain was younger, I started a journal for him. It contains little antidotes from his childhood or my thoughts during some important events. I always thought it would be a special gift for him when he got older which chronicles his childhood, as well as explains some challenging aspects of his adoption and family history. Sadly, I have allowed a ridiculous time to elapse from that journal, too.

Antwain has returned to school for another term, and I continue to miss him terribly. To comfort myself during the week while he is boarding at school, I have begun to update his journal. Usually with a cup of tea, I sit and write to Antwain.

I have stepped back in time recalling memories that were both joyful and painful. I see my little boy with his pooh-bear belly, high-pitched laugh, and chubby hands. Then he slowly transforms with subtle changes that have developed him into the slim, handsome emerging young man whose voice and laugh have discovered the onset of puberty as their tones deepen. And then as I continue to dream I imagine Antwain as a young man reading my journal to him. Although his looks will continue to develop, he will never lose the twinkle of his big brown eyes, the occasional twitching of his eyebrow (especially when he concentrates on something), and his million-dollar smile that crinkles the corner of his eyes.

When the day comes to gift Antwain with his journal, my hope is that he will be able to laugh at himself a little, understand his history a little, and never doubt that I loved him a whole lot!!

Please check out Gloria's Blog as she highlights all CTT Team members from past trips.  It is incredible to recoginize that almost 6 years has passed since I first step foot in Uganda with CTT Team 1.  Looking through these photos was like spending time with a beloved family album.  I have fond memories of each of these remarkable people, and I have genuine love for each one of them, too.  I admire their generous heart.  I laugh at some truly funny trip moments.  And I am just filled with such awesome respect that they continue to enrich the lives of the orphans at SMK.  The team members from Team 1 are still as much alive, beloved, and remembered as those from Team 5.  Now that truly speaks volumes!

If by chance, you are interested in a life-changing experience to Uganda in December, please contact Gloria Feinstein with Change The Truth.

Enjoy cruising through CTT's family album, too.  http://gloriainafrica.blogspot.com/

Here are a few news updates to stories that I have posted on my blog:

Capture of LRA Commander

Recent media reports have disclosed the capture of the #3 commander in Kony’s Lord of Resistance Army (LRA).  During a joint-military effort with Ugandan and special American forces, LRA’s Major General Caesar Acellam Otto was captured along the banks of the Mbou River in the Central Africa Republic (CAR) last Saturday, May 12th.   Acellem is a man in his 60s, and he was arrested with a personal fleet of protective soldiers, his wife, daughter, and another young woman. 

No updated news yet on charges to be filed in the courts.  Will keep you posted. 

Postponed Ugandan Census

This week Uganda announced that it is postponing its Census efforts until 2013. The government announced it does not have the necessary finances to fund all of the components of the census efforts (wages, transport, equipment, data processing).  The last census in Uganda was conducted in 2002.  The 2011 State of the World Population report stated that Uganda’s population is approximately 34.5 million people.  (That is equivalent of the combined populations of Kansas, Missouri, Texas, and Montana living in an area approximately the square mileage of Oregon.)

Several Ugandan names naturally end in a vowel sound.  So here, there is a tendency to add a vowel sound to the end of other names, too.  

A (pronounced as ‘ah’):  Mark-a, Ben-a

E (pronounced as ‘ee’):  Edward-e, Irene-e

U (pronounced as ‘oo’):  Pat-u, Sam-u, Caleb-u

Other names are called twice (I find myself doing this often):

Leo-Leo, Claire-Claire, Willy-Willy

Some more American based nicknames have been introduced to the children:

Isabella has become Issy.

Nicholas has become Nicky.

Catherine has become Cathy or Cate.

Family nicknames can find their way to SMK, especially if they are part of a sibling group.  These nicknames as a small child often follow children into their adolescents.

Isabella has been Baby Girl since her infancy.  She is almost 14 and has not managed to escape it.

Alfonse has been Boy-Boy since he came to SMK as a toddler.  He is now 10.

Recheal was dubbed Kodak several years ago due to her love of photography.

I have found that the nicknames make the children feel special.  It is a distinction.  Children will often request special nicknames, and we have great fun coming up with one for them.

This week, SMKOM has been stunned by the unexpected death of our beloved Officer Ali from a traffic accident.  The grief of Ali’s passing at SMKOM is vast and will be long lasting (if not ever lasting). Officer Ali was one of the finest, most upstanding men that I have had the pleasure to know.  He was a devoted family man (husband and doting father of 6 children), loyal officer to Uganda’s Boys and Girls Brigade (which is a cross between ROTC and Boys/Girl Scouts), mentor/father-figure to many of the orphans (particularly the older boys) at SMKOM, religious teacher and follower of Islam, and respected pillar of the Kajjansi community.

Ali was one of the friendliest and most welcoming members of the SMKOM staff.  Ali had this million watt smile which lit up his entire face.  He was very calm and quiet which exuded both humbleness and graciousness.  He was even-tempered but had a commanding presence, which was highly respected. Ali taught Islamic Religious Education and led SMKOM’s Marching Brigade troop.  His 4 oldest children (Umar, Latifah, Faswila, and Hafswa) were graduates of SMKOM for Primary school, and his 2 youngest (Swabrah and Takia) are currently students.  Ali has always made himself available to assist with counseling or disciplinary issues with the older boys.  He is highly respected by them, and when the boys needed a firm, loving father-figure the most, Ali was the first to be called.  He never failed to show up and follow through with these boys.

Ali’s own children are all upstanding people.  Several of his children are amongst the children that I have the earliest memories of knowing at SMK.  Each of his 6 children have distinct personalities, a giving spirit, a sharp sense of humor, and a peaceful nature.  When speaking to them, there was no doubt of their father and mother’s intense love for them.  Here in Uganda amongst so many orphans, that knowledge was a like a precious gift to them all. 

For me, Ali encompassed many things… he extended a great hand of friendship to me during every visit and during my move to Uganda.  I was always welcomed into his home as he shared some advice about Uganda living.  He was a proud Ugandan who loved his country greatly.  He often stopped by our home in the evenings on his way home just to check on us.  He assisted me in understanding the thought process of some of the older boys who were headed for troubles and provided valuable insights into the insecurities of orphans.  Whenever I needed Ali to speak to an older boy or attend a meeting, he never failed to come. He took an interest in Antwain and offered Antwain unique experiences (like Brigade camp).  Ali mentored Antwain through those experiences like his own son to ensure that Antwain learned something about responsibility and pride of hard work. 

I will forever be grateful for Ali’s friendship.  He was a man that left a lasting mark on the lives of hundreds (if not thousands) of youth during his work with the Boys and Girls Brigade, as well as his personal endeavors.  His legacy in life was admirable, and he will be dearly missed by those that loved and respected him.

Another long pause.  Another restart to consistent blogging. 

The school students just returned back toschool this week after a 3 week holiday. I can not convey enough how wonderful and comforting it was to hearfamiliar voices of my beloved big boys outside of my windows.  Often I would just find myself listening tothem and smiling. 

We spent a full week without electricityover the holiday, as Kajjansi replaced one of the major transformers.  I have recognized that I have been in Ugandalong enough that a week without electricity was not as problematic as it once was.  While it halted computer usage, there wasvery little that went undisturbed.  Ifanything we were all well-rested that week as bedtime at night came easy to usall.  It was relaxing to sit outside somenights under the blanket of bright and plentiful stars. 

So stay tuned.  My blog list is still long with manyhappenings, updates, and interesting tales.  

Since Uganda’s climate and soil is perfect for producing fruits and vegetables, there is an unusually high concentration of produce stands throughout the country.  When I really consider the amount of food that is produced in this small country, it boggles my mind.  Since the temperature is always favorable, crop production occurs year-round.  And while the prices of food items fluctuates(now increasing daily), there is still no shortage of the staple fruits and vegetables in the Ugandan diet:  tomato, onion, matooke bananas, irish potatoes, cassava.  

There are so many other favourites, too:  green pepper, green beans, cabbage, cucumber, banana, oranges, garlic, pineapple, cilantro, sweet potato, avocado, hot peppers, peas, fresh beans, eggplant, and many more.  Sometimes I can even find zucchini, broccoli, lettuce, apple (as long as they are not too expensive). 

In Kajjansi there is one large produce market, where more than 3 dozen vendors sell their fruits, vegetables and even fish in a large open area.  It is like my Hyvee/PriceChopper/Dillons Produce department.  Fort hose who love to barter, there are always deals to be had.  I tend to support the same vendors, who don’t try to cheat me.

It is always a good day after leaving the market full of great ideas of wonderfully fresh and delicious things to make.    

In many upcoming posts I will introduce you in more details to Kajjansi, the place that I call home here in Uganda.  If you have ever been curious about the stores/shops that I frequent or some of the differences between services in America vs. Uganda, then you are bound to enjoy these posts. 

Kajjansi is a village (or suburb/small town).  It is about 12 kilometers (or about 7.5miles) south of Kampala along the one main road (Entebbe Road) which connects Kampala to Entebbe (where the international airport is).  Since Kajjansi is a mid-way point between Entebbe and Kampala, many families may chose to live in Kajjansi and commute to work in one of the larger cities. Kajjansi is one of the primary stops on the local taxi and bus routes for anyone travelling south of Kampala.  In 2006, the population of Kajjansi was reported to be about 7,500 people.

In Kajjansi facing north towards Kampala along Entebbe Road.

In Kajjansi facing south towards Entebbe along Entebbe Road.

Since it is on the main road the chief business district is right on Entebbe Road.  Residences are concentrated behind the business posts on both sides of the road.  There are smaller shops in the residential areas for those staple items.  All of the roads are dirt, and there are no road names. People know businesses or homes according to landmarks.

Instead of a mayor, Kajjansi has a Local Commissioner.  His job is to assist with settling village disputes, verify residency for villagers, and sign any official documents.  He is an elected official into office and must be someone with an established residency within the village. 

I hope you enjoy learning a little more about Kajjansi life...

Since I have returned back to Uganda, I have been thinking pretty exclusively about our future here. My initial commitment to Change The Truth expires this August already, but preparations needed to be made before that time. I am not a person that makes decisions easily or quickly. I pray, dissect, and contemplate every element of a personal decision almost to its death. Sometimes such practice is a virtue, other times a fault. However, I emerge from my ponderous state always feeling confident and peaceful with my decision.

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Earlier this week I took an online personality test. My result dubbed me ‘Protector.’ It actually made me laugh out loud, cause the description was pretty accurate. Retrospectively I can trace that calling as ‘Protector’ throughout my childhood and into my adult life as I have always strived to be the helper who served those that needed someone to care or advocate for them. I began that calling in Salina, KS and followed it to the inner city of Kansas City, MO. Now I have followed it to a small orphanage in Kajjansi, Uganda. Who would have thought?

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And my ponderous state these past several months have revealed decisively that my calling remains in Uganda indefinitely. We have created a good life in Uganda... Antwain is at a school where he is excelling. Taibah is an environment that is nurturing some really strong, positive character development within him. I continue to be part of an incredible organization, Change The Truth, that continues to inspire me daily. And Antwain and I have made a home at St. Mary Kevin that needs someone consistent, firm, and loving to guide these orphans through the trials of life.

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For me... This decision came with a LOT of conflicting emotions, prayerful pleas for impossible compromises, and even some tears... a definite drawback when my heart remains in two vastly different places. For every aspect I celebrate about remaining home in Uganda, there is an equal counterpart that I mourn for back home in America. But I have faith in God and His plans for my life, and He works on His own timeline, not mine. He made the provisions for me to create a home in Uganda, so I am certain that He will provide those same provisions when/if it is time to return to our home in America.

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For Antwain... Living and working at SMK has always been my calling, my dream, not Antwain’s. So rightfully his emotions run the spectrum. While I regularly catch glimpses of his happiness and contentment, mostly he verbalizes his disappointment and even angry. He is 12 years old, so to him I broke of a promise. I replaced 2 years living in Uganda, which became doable to him, with the uncertainty of ‘indefinitely.’ But I feel like the next time I blink for too long, Antwain will already be an adult. And as excruciating as it will be to let him go, I want to encourage him to follow God’s calling, too, wherever that takes him without fear or hesitation. So while staying in Uganda is not a popular decision for the time-being, I feel it is still a positive one for Antwain, too.

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So always know that we have an open door policy in Uganda. We LOVE visitors, so you are always most welcome anytime! And we promise that we will come back to America to visit, too. After all physical distances don’t have to mean to the end of great emotional connections.

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I have begun a new weekly tradition... a quiet, tranquil retreat to one of the local beaches in Entebbe (about 30 minutes south of Kajjansi). Once a week, I take part of my day sitting by the water in the bright, warm sun listening to the lapping of waves, the calls of the various birds, and gentle blowing of the breeze off the water. Since it is a workday, there is also an intimacy with few other visitors at the beach. It creates the perfect, mind-clearing environment to read a book/newspaper, be introspective in my journaling, have private prayer time, complete my Bible study, or just enjoy the natural beauty surrounding me. I leave the beach back in touch with myself and ready to take on another week.

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Today is my beach day. If you are in the Entebbe area, you could find me at my special spot. It is always there waiting for me every time I visit, and I have come to look forward to that!